How do you experience switching?

[gossamer_musings]

This is a complex of several questions: how do you switch, what does switching feel like (physically and mentally), does it differ between different members, and how would you describe your process of switching in your own words?

Comments

[beepbird]

This is difficult to answer because we experience it in several different ways- it is more of a spectrum than a singular experience.

On one end of the spectrum, it can feel like my "me" changes- there is continuous awareness that happens to become someone else. On the other end, it can feel like being physically sucked down/back into our head and disappearing into something like sleep while someone else is suddenly thrown into our environment (which is very disorienting). There are more experiences in-between. It seems to depend on the situation, the people involved, and how urgent the switch is.

On average, we tend to switch with continuous awareness the most often when around other people in casual settings. In private, we lean more towards a switch in the middle of the spectrum: there is a sense of dropping back or coming forwards directionally- trading places- but it's not violent or completely disorienting. There may be a moment of "okay, what's happening", but it's brief.

Violent switches tend to happen only when we are in distress or triggered, and they happen much less often than they used to (thank god- they feel like taking a bucket of ice water to the face/chest, and they leave us with a headache).

There is also a time spectrum. Some switches take seconds. Some take hours. Continuous switches seem to take longer than changing-places switches, and violently changing places is the fastest option (albeit extremely disruptive- we need considerably more time to orient and settle ourselves afterwards).

Some things do stay consistent regardless of where the switch is on the spectrum. Changes in bodily tension are one: a reliable tell that we have switched is that our body takes on someone else's tension patterns. We all carry ourselves differently. Voice pitch/tone changes also seem to be consistent across switch experiences for us. We may even notice it changing during continuous awareness switches. Otherwise, I struggle to pinpoint other consistent changes because with non-continuous switches, everyone's awareness is compromised while it happens. It's difficult to remember clearly.

When it comes to switching on purpose, we tend to get it done by asking someone else to switch in, then "stepping back". In concrete terms, it feels like relaxing my mind in the same sort of way that I relax to fall asleep, but without physically sleeping. It's a process of releasing my grip on awareness so that someone else can take the wheel.

From the perspective of the person switching out, sometimes it feels like being consumed or possessed. Sometimes it feels like moving around in our body or mind, shuffling positions, etc. Sometimes it feels like becoming someone else- I imagine that we could write a good hivemind assimilation scene from this sort of switch.

I have no idea what switching feels like from the perspective of the person switching in, as our awareness doesn't quite reach that area of our mind and our memories of switching in start near the end of the process. From the perspective of the person switching out, there is a sense of incoming presence and mental grasping or movement from the person switching in, but that's all I can get at.

[seraphikiss]

for at least 80% of the time, i don't notice a switch. i think it's due to how i often "blank out" more than switch, so to speak. but when it comes to my two facets, i notice a very stark difference in my mood, behavior, and even my interests. facet A is reckless, hyper-verbal, and often starting chaos, while facet B is more depressed, anxious, and withdrawn.

i call it the "tragicomedy experience", since my facets are, in a sense, me if i put a drama mask on. i still have alters, but when they switch in, it's not as noticeable as my facets.