What's it feel like to front?

[sagittaoftime]

Assuming it's a meaningful question, what's it feel like to front? Do you have a strong sense of you-ness, or do you just notice yourself/ves behaving differently, or does it depend? How is it different from not-front (if it is)?

Comments

[galewings]

[joltik] so for my subsystem, i think it kind of depends? we've kind of got a sliding scale of "sense of self" going on here, like some of us have a Very Strong sense of that (to the point where i immediately notice when they're around) and others are extremely good at blending themselves in and making it near-impossible for me to realize they're around. on top of that, we don't always completely switch out with each other, sometimes they sort of.. take over my sense of self? so i kind of turn into them or something idk

sometimes i do completely fall out of front and lose any grip on my sense of self, and then someone ends up picking it up and then they're in front and i'm out in the void somewhere. i think maybe my sense of self is wired to the front so maybe that's why all of this works how it does (<- i'm coming up with this theory in real time)

so for actually telling who's around, depending on the person, i've noticed some people have more tells than others. sometimes it's a physical thing (ishmael tends to hold a pencil or pen in between his index and middle finger to fidget with when he's at front. nobody else in here does this). sometimes it's more of a mental self image-y thing (a few people here have different hairstyles as part of their self-image, so if i start imagining myself with that hair, they might be around or i might be them). sometimes people intentionally minimize their tells so that i can't tell they're around (i'm specifically talking about kokoro)